Oh, Eli. Eli, Eli, Eli. What happened, Eli Manning? You used to be the light of our lives. You used to make it so that New York Giants fans had something on other teams. We could say we had a clutch, nearly elite quarterback. Even when you’d do things like fall forward on your face in place of sliding, and fumble, or drop the ball mid throw, we loved you.
But while Tom Brady has aged like a fine wine, you’ve aged like goat cheese that was curdled and expired when we bought it. You sat in the fridge and fermented and now the entire apartment stinks. It feels like you fell apart when we lost Tom Coughlin. Coughlin was a great coach, but is Ben McAdoo so bad that you lost all your talent in one swoop?
Even when I need nothing more than a touchdown out of you for fantasy football purposes, you fall flat on your face and let the 0-8 San Francisco 49ers beat that ass. I cant even write anymore. It’s just making me sad. Instead, I’ll relive the moments we endured. cues the Titanic theme song..
10. In Seattle.
9. In New York.
8. New York again.
7. The watch man.
6. He can dance, I’ll give him that.
But we already knew that.
— The Fumble (@FumbleSports) May 10, 2016
5. His arch nemesis Vikings will always win that battle.
4. In San Francisco.
Us too, Eli. Us too.
3. In Green Bay, 2016 NFC Wild Card.
2. Against the Chargers.
1. In Philadelphia.
One more time..
Aaaaaaand once more..
Featured photo credit: Sports Illustrated