What Lin-Manuel Miranda’s ‘Hamilton’ Taught Me

(Last Updated On: October 20, 2017)

I, like most of you, never thought I would get to see Hamilton. Assuming most Spleaze readers aren’t obscenely wealthy, who’s dropping $500 per ticket to see anything outside of a major sports championship game? That’s what I thought.

That said, when someone comes through with the free tickets to see Hamilton, you go as I did. And bah gawd, what an incredible spectacle it was.

First off, I definitely now wish the Founding Fathers of the USA were smooth rapping black dudes – George Washington as a handsome, singing, 6-foot-6 black dude was way more awesome than the real guy must have been.

But I digress. This is not about how awesome the show of Hamilton is. We all know that. This is about how the ending of the show was spoiled for me, not by history, but by the original “Got Milk?” commercial from the 1990s. See below.

The minute they introduced Aaron Burr on the stage, about two minutes in, I flashed back to this commercial from my childhood.

For the rest of the two-plus hour production, all I could think about when Aaron Burr was on stage, was this poor fuck losing out on $10,000 because he didn’t have any milk. It also continuously reminded me – oh yeah this guy Burr is gonna shoot Alexander Hamilton at the end. I spent the whole show picking apart Burr and Hamilton’s interactions to see why they’d end up dueling.

So while we’re on the subject, since Hamilton has become such a massive cultural phenomenon, how fucking stupid are the Got Milk? people for not bringing this commercial back? I’d be willing to bet 100x the number of people would understand the commercial.

Let’s do it. Bring that shit back right now.

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