Justin Upton Funk: Top Free Agent Left in 2016?

(Last Updated On: April 7, 2017)

You may have been stuck to your skittles covered couch these past few weeks paying close attention to the painting of the 2016 NFL playoff picture, but MLB Free Agency was also still underway with prized free agent Justin Upton Funk still on the board ready to be tossed egregious amounts of cash. Interestingly enough, of the top 50 free agents ranked by ESPN, 17 still remain unsigned – setting up quite the shuffle in the next month and a half before spring training.

With “Carry on my Jason Heyward son” the only top outfielder to sign (eight-year, $184-million deal with the Chicago Cubs), there’s a ton of meat still left on the table. Upton, Yoenis Cespedes, Alex Gordon (UPDATE: re-signed with Royals for $72 million), Dexter Fowler, Denard Span, Austin Jackson, Gerardo Parra and Will Venable are still free to be plucked. Even Ian Desmond has been looked at as a possible outfielder.

Justin Upton funk meme.
Justin Upton funk gon’ give it to you.

Last I heard, the Baltimore Orioles hilariously considered Justin Upton a “potential fallback option should Davis go elsewhere,” per NBCSports. Some even believe Cespedes, who viciously transformed the New York Mets midseason and sparked a passionate playoff run, to be the best option left. SI.com, however, believes Upton is the best investment among outfielders..

“In the end, Upton is likely to be the better investment over the long term, making him a wiser investment for a team looking to contend regularly over the next five years. But Cespedes could have the larger impact in the short term for a team looking for an impact player to help bring them a title in 2016.”

The Yankees, who have had an underwhelming offseason, could always come out of the woodwork to sign the pricey outfielder. Pinstripes fans (aka Lucas at the corner coffee shop) have said they hope to trade Brett Gardner and sign Upton – to at least improve the funk aspect of the team. On the other hand, I could see Upton settling in with the already annually successful St. Louis Cardinals, who do in fact need a left fielder. The reason I’d still lean toward the Yankees is due to their recent signings that have proved disastrous – Chase Headley being the worst. Headley, like Joe Crede, had one good year and is now clogging up third from someone who can actually kind of hit. Yes, I mean Alex Rodriguez.

To reiterate, we are absolutely discussing which useless outfielder should pocket millions of dollars to play a game. Let the political shit storm commence..