Knicks Performing Wonderfully In ‘Bermuda Triangle Offense’

(Last Updated On: April 7, 2017)

When watching the New York Knicks play a game of basketball, I feel like Hugh Grant in About a Boy before young Marcus teaches him the true nature of friendship; or Jerry Springer when he has to wipe the microphone down after a slobbering baby mama spits obscenities into it. We know they’re awful – they’ve always been awful and the scapegoat for our anger – but maybe it’s the shocking 76ers’ resurgence that is making this season’s same old failure that much more excruciating. Or perhaps it was Derrick Rose getting lost then found earlier this month.

The past two years has frustratingly been about Phil Jackson, the media, and the media’s mothers discussing the failure of the Knicks in the supposed triangle offense and whether they should even run it. All the while the Bockers are epically excelling in the Bermuda Triangle Offense, an offense that features clear discombobulation, frantic passing, and an overall lack of basketball IQ.


Knicks Bermuda Triangle Offense Meme. (Pic: Mad__Cheddar)
Knicks getting lost in their own Bermuda Triangle Offense. (Pic: Mad__Cheddar)

We can make fun of, or rather cry about, the 20-26 record and 11th-place standing in the DREADFUL Eastern Conference, where only the top eight not-as-good-as-any-Western-conference teams make the playoffs. Or we can endlessly rewatch and enjoy Joakim Noah’s free throws – the preferred route..



Or better yet, his jump shots..



At the very least, we have Kristaps Porzingis and his Unicorn-special style of play – until his eventually scrambled brain can’t take the Knicks drama, losing, inepitidue any longer and he takes his talents to Miami or some shit.

Kyle O’Quinn’s facial expressions probably say it best, so I’ll just leave this right here.