Michael Strahan leaves ‘Live With Kelly and Michael’ for ‘Good Morning America’

(Last Updated On: April 7, 2017)

Breaking news folks – the man, myth, legend himself, Michael Strahan, has QUIT his own show, “Live With Kelly and Michael” – because ABC offered him a massive promotion to become a full-time staple of Good Morning America.

Talk about living a charmed fucking life. The greatest, most valuable gap-tooth in history is really carrying this man far. He even gets to keep his Fox NFL Sunday commentator job!

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Meanwhile, good old Tiki Barber, Strahan’s former teammate and erstwhile friend, finds himself way farther down the TV totem pole than he thought he’d be by now. Dude must be BLOWING up Kelly Ripa’s cell phone right now like “I can be even better than Mike, just give me a shot, girl!” Anything is better than cooking omelettes on live television..

With a full year’s head start in television, Tiki hasn’t gotten much play beyond being fired as an NBC sideline reporter and pulling night shifts for WFAN. All in spite of being one of the most well-spoken running backs to ever play the game. That’s kind of what happens when you’re known for being the guy who shits all over his colleagues.

Doesn’t matter if your colleagues are in the locker room, the broadcast studio, behind the counter at Taco Bell or slaving away for stock options at a startup. If you have a rep for hating on the people you work with, nobody wants you, plain and simple.

But let’s take a moment to admire the man of the hour, Michael¬†Strahan. What’s the ceiling for this dude? At this rate I feel like an HBO talk show or late night program is not out of the realm of possibility. Political office? Maybe. Guy is crushing the TV game so hard that people soon won’t even remember he was a hall-of-fame defensive end. Is that sad? Maybe yes, as a New York Giants fan.

But if you’re Strahan’s conniving ex-wife, you’re probably just as pissed as Tiki and Kelly Ripa right now.

Cover photo: NESN