New York Fans Wondering What The Fuck The Knicks Are

(Last Updated On: November 22, 2017)

So what exactly are the New York Knicks thus far? Lovers? Fighters? ‘Cause all my life, they’ve been fighting?


Alright, before I begin I just want everyone to know that I am just as die-hard a Knicks fan as the next guy. Ya boy John McClane here. But, I’m also a realist. The Knicks have honestly surprised us all, so if someone tells you that they thought this team would be 9-7 right now, I’ll show you a lying sack. Just like every other season, New York fans’ emotions and comments present a roller coaster. “Knicks are back,” “Knicks stink,” “Knicks are messing with our minds,” “Knicks are a playoff team,” “Trade everyone, but Kristaps Porzingis.” Trust me, I’ve said it all already and we’re only a little over a month into the season.

The Knickerbockers have shown us glimpses of what the future may hold for New York fans. No longer the hot shit piles we’ve been, our team looks ready to take on the responsibilities of a middle-of-the-road NBA team. With that being said, what are the Knicks? Are they good? Are they streaky? Just an average team? Are they a playoff team? Or, are they simply toying with us only to then rip our hearts out and light them on fire like Mola Ram (James Dolan) in the Temple of Doom.


With as much fun as I am having this season watching the Knicks, you New York fans probably want me to say words like They’re good, They’re back, and Playoffs. Sorry, I won’t be saying that. But for the record, I hope I’m wrong.

The Knicks are just an average, beat the teams you should, only win at home, can’t beat the best kind of NBA team. I know, I know, we beat the Cleveland Cavaliers on the road, but that’s Cleveland every year. They suck farts to begin the season and end up competing for the ship; so I don’t look much into that win.

The Knicks got SMOKED in Boston, Toronto, Orlando and Oklahoma City. They looked awful – like filthy hangover after a weekend bender awful. Simply put, they can’t play away from the Garden. The Knicks clearly need to do something to get them amped for road games, and those douchey handshakes won’t work. Unless they look like this..


Not having the home atmosphere gets their minds all distorted and they forget how to play team ball. Every away game, minus Cleveland, I’ve wanted to cut my eyes out. All the teams they lost to on the road are playoff teams, minus Orlando. Oh yeah, James Harden and Andre Drummond also tea bagged them at home, and those teams are also playoff teams. They get waxed by the good teams and beat the butt teams they should, like the Kings, Suns, Nets, Clippers. But seemingly only at home.

Did I also mention streaky in the my assessment of the Knicks thus far? Well, the Knicks are streaky — albeit more consistent than they were in last year’s Bermuda Triangle Offense. And if people disagree now, just wait, because they will get even streakier as the season progresses. Porzingis started the season like Michael Jordan in Space Jam and cooled off slightly, but that was to be expected in my opinion. Tim Hardaway Jr. has been insanely streaky this season. He stinks, he’s starting to earn his contract, he’s a gunner, he doesn’t shoot enough, blah blah. Hardaway is the poster child for these streaky Knicks. However, he has been finding his groove, so hopefully I’ll eat these words.

The defense is perhaps the streakiest of all. Some games they look like they’re defending America from an alien invasion, ain’t nobody gettin’ in. Then other times they look hungover from the home win a few games before and the recent flight. The Knicks like to run on teams, but when teams run on them they don’t get back and are vulnerable to NBA Street dunks all day. Then they get down on themselves, start pushing the tempo, force shots, and visibly look like they don’t want to play. Don’t even get me started on their interior defense on the road. It’s absolutely pathetic, enough said.

Again, I love this team and always will. But other New York fans like me are also critical of this team because of our passion and long-awaited need for a winning product. New York is thirsty to see the Knicks win. The Knicks are fun right now and I hope they can keep it up, but history has taught us that sustainability for this team is not likely. They were 14-10 and in the third seed in the conference last season before spending the rest of the year carving their place as the NBA laughing stock.

I know I probably missed some things, but I got some other things cooking for another post that will be relevant and a spinoff to this one. “The Knicks issues people forget.” Comment on the article and tell me if you agree or completely disagree with my assessment of our beloved Knicks. Let’s get some New York fans chatter going here on Spleaze.

Featured photo h/t: Fansided (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Follow me on twitter @scooochie for more New York Sports noise. Knickstape.

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