The New York Giants Fan Dilemma

(Last Updated On: January 16, 2018)

I hate the New England Patriots. I’m not afraid to say it to the faces of their fans either. Fuck them. Fuck Tom Brady and his perfect life, fuck Alex Guerrero’s TB12 therapy center, and fuck Bill Belichick, the evil robot.


I can’t stand their overly white team or their overly white, pretentious fans. One of the last things I want to see, on earth, is a sixth Patriots Super Bowl win. Even though I’m a New York Giants fan, and thus have no real reason to hate the Pats this much, I just do. They irk me, and I need to stand in solidarity with my Jets fan homies.

That being said, there is at least one thing that would be worse than Brady getting one for the second thumb — a Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl. The Eagles are, without doubt, the worst organization in all of sports. Top to bottom. Fans included (especially that piece of shit who punched a police horse after being kicked out of Lincoln Financial Field). Everything about Philly sports makes me physically sick to my stomach.

I’m PRAYING for Vikings and Jags wins this weekend, because I don’t even know if I can stand to watch an Eagles-Patriots Super Bowl. Partially because who wants to watch two teams they hate, play, but mostly because, that game would force me to CHEER for the god damn New England Patriots.

I would rather see Belichick and Brady get sixth AND seventh rings before seeing the Eagles even sniff their first ring. I would have to shower heavily after spending four hours rooting for the evil whiteness of the Patriots, but anything would be better than seeing Philadelphia lifted out of their football misery.

This is the Giants fan dilemma.

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