Terrible-team fans like yours truly drool over mock drafts. With rumors swirling and an existential glimmer of hope once again above water, it’s the time of year when options for a Jets quarterback of the future finally return to the table. Even New York’s most inept franchise handing $6 million guaranteed to 37-year-old barrel bottom slinger Josh McCown can’t simmer the offseason optimism – though since they did pull the mediocre trigger, it’s time to look at better options still waiting for that New York call.
20 Better Options for New York Jets Quarterback in 2017
Crying Jordan Meme
Just so he can do this when things get bad..
David Foster Wallace
So he can turn his novel Infinite Jest into Infinite Jets.
He did it as Shane Falco in The Replacements. He can do it again.
Adam Sandler or Burt Reynolds
50-year-old Paul Crewe is only 13 years older than McCown. Just saying.
Joe Namath’s Fur Coat
Sans Joe Namath.
Call this one the mystery box.
Literally Any Other McCown Brother
Luke McCown, Randy McCown, take your pick.
Even though they’re from New Orleans, Curren$y, Trademark Da Skydiver, and Young Roddy can rule New York.
Elite when it comes to enduring shit.
The former New York Jets trainer proved his recklessness with his Diddy fight.
Naked Cowboy in Times Square
If you’re going to excel as the Jets quarterback, you need to be fearless. Enter Times Square Cowboy guy, who apparently makes six figures.
That way they can show us how to play the position, after they annihilated Christian Hackenberg multiple times last season.
One of Antonio Cromartie’s Children
One of his 43+ kids have to be good, no?
Just the beard.
Just watch this blocking.
I mean, why not? H/t to Quantum__Tarantino for this one.