Best New York Jets Quarterback Options For 2017

(Last Updated On: October 16, 2017)

Terrible-team fans like yours truly drool over mock drafts. With rumors swirling and an existential glimmer of hope once again above water, it’s the time of year when options for a Jets quarterback of the future finally return to the table. Even New York’s most inept franchise handing $6 million guaranteed to 37-year-old barrel bottom slinger Josh McCown can’t simmer the offseason optimism – though since they did pull the mediocre trigger, it’s time to look at better options still waiting for that New York call.




20 Better Options for New York Jets Quarterback in 2017

Crying Jordan Meme

This way, sports memes mocking his face aren’t necessary – he’s already that guy.

Homer Simpson

Just so he can do this when things get bad..


David Foster Wallace

So he can turn his novel Infinite Jest into Infinite Jets.

Keanu Reeves

He did it as Shane Falco in The Replacements. He can do it again.


Adam Sandler or Burt Reynolds

50-year-old Paul Crewe is only 13 years older than McCown. Just saying.

Joe Namath’s Fur Coat

Sans Joe Namath.

Green Man

Call this one the mystery box.


Literally Any Other McCown Brother

Luke McCown, Randy McCown, take your pick.

Jet Life

Even though they’re from New Orleans, Curren$y, Trademark Da Skydiver, and Young Roddy can rule New York.

Louie CK

Elite when it comes to enduring shit.


Sal Alosi

The former New York Jets trainer proved his recklessness with his Diddy fight.

Naked Cowboy in Times Square

If you’re going to excel as the Jets quarterback, you need to be fearless. Enter Times Square Cowboy guy, who apparently makes six figures.

Alexei Navalny

He’s hates corruption and was literally doused in green liquid – what’s not to like?


That way they can show us how to play the position, after they annihilated Christian Hackenberg multiple times last season.

One of Antonio Cromartie’s Children

One of his 43+ kids have to be good, no?

Ryan Fitzpatrick’s Beard

Just the beard.

Jared Lorenzen

Just watch this blocking.

Vlad Jennington

I mean, why not? H/t to Quantum__Tarantino for this one.

Clarence Beeftank

Self explanatory.

Sam Jones

Time to make this a reality.

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