An Optimistic Look At 2018 For The Shitty New York Giants

(Last Updated On: November 1, 2017)

Besides everything, what do the blue-in-the-face Giants need the most? With the season more finished than The Sopranos and Davey Scatino’s sporting goods store, I have been thinking about what the shitty New York Giants need more help with this upcoming draft and offseason. A quarterback for the future? A game changing running back? Help on the offensive line (shocker)? The correct answer is everything.

The Giants should approach this offseason like the classic MTV show Pimp My Ride. We got a good brand name car, but the outside is shit, the inside is busted and now we’re going to pimp this puppy out. Oh, and don’t forgot help with the linebacking corps. All of this in no particular order is what the Giants should consider. Let’s pray management doesn’t draft players who make Giants fans go “Who the fuck is that guy?!?



Before I start, I think I’m the only Giants fan that actually wants to wait on getting a signal caller since Big Blue drafted Cal’s Davis Webb last season (with the No. 87 pick, no less) and we have yet to see what he can do. And we probably won’t get to see what he can do this year because he’s inactive – a douche move considering the way this season is going. The season is at a point where the Giants are dead fish floating in the water unable to make any noise, using their time to try out players for next season. And when they’re not, they should be.

A lot of analysts and reporters are saying that since the Giants will have a high draft pick, duhhhhhh, they should be looking for a quarterback; and rightfully so. But, we don’t know what Webb can do yet. I would like to see Webb on the field a few games slinging the pigskin around to see if he has what it takes to possibly handle the watch-the-throne spot after Eli Manning is done. Can’t wait until we see Webb play and he’s a pile of burnt garbage.. or possible the below?..


Though despite everything I’ve just said, I would like to see how the college quarterbacks look closer to the combine; their grades/rankings and so on to see if there is a guy that can potentially carry a franchise. If there is a quarterback that can come in and be the Macho Man Randy Savage, then we ultimately have to take him if available. Better to have a franchise signal caller for 15 years than an elite running back for eight.

Quarterbacks Expected To Enter The 2018 NFL Draft:

Lamar Jackson, Louisville
Sam Darnold, USC
Josh Rosen, UCLA
Josh Allen, Wyoming
Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma
Mason Rudolph, Oklahoma State
Clayton Thorson, Northwestern

The Pick:

My ideal pick for the Giants is Louisville’s Lamar Jackson in the second round. He is still putting up insane numbers and looks awesome again this season despite the Cardinals playing like a steaming pile of excrement. Now, think about this for just a second. Lamar Jackson at quarterback, Saquon Barkley at running back, Odell Beckham and Sterling Shepard as wideouts, and Evan Engram at whatever hybrid position he fills. That’s fire, regardless of what anyone says. Young and ready to offensively shit on teams.

Offensive Line (mainly left tackle): 

The entire football world knows that the Giants need help here and I really shouldn’t have to go into much detail about how offensive this line has been. As fans, we know. However, they did display a buttload of improvement against the Denver Broncos with moving Justin Pugh to the right side and playing D.J. Fluker. Ereck Flowers hasn’t been getting tea bagged as much, but he still doesn’t look solid.

It looks like some of these changes with the line have given him an extra spark of confidence, but who knows. If there is a game-changing stud left tackle in the draft who can protect Eli and then his successor, I think you would go for them. But Jerry Reese isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, so he’ll likely just pluck the best athlete.

The top offensive tackles to prioritize in the 2018 NFL Draft are 6-foot-8, 360-pound (woah!) Orlando Brown from Oklahoma and 6-foot-7 Mike McGlinchey out of Notre Dame. These two can be among those players who could help protect the quarterback (though Flowers was also a big kahuna out of college and look how that turned out)

The Pick:

Orlando Brown. Go big or go home.

Running Back:

Yet another position that the Giants desperately need help with. Orleans Darkwa did look shockingly good against the Broncos, rushing for 117 yards on 21 carries. He showed a lot of promise and spark during that game with that newly shifted-around O-line, following Fluker’s huge ass for one 60+ yard run that had everyone’s juices flowing. But, Darkwa isn’t a game changing running back like Bell, Elliott, Freeman or Hunt. He is a lot better than Paul Perkins, who has been a giant fart for the Giants, but that’s not saying a lot.

Saquon Barkley is the guy. I selfishly want him like a dog wants prosciutto, and not because I’m a Penn State Alum. This guy is the real deal. This guy probably bolts out of a girl’s apartment in state college faster than a freight train to hell. He’s beating teams on his own and displays some of best and quickest moves we have seen in a long time. Depending on all the grades and how players look in the combine, I think this is a guy who can come in and help change/rebuild a team into an offensive powerhouse with his ability to run and catch out of the backfield.

Another prospect to look at would be 5-foot-9 sprinter-slash-tailback Bryce Love out of Stanford. This guy might be just as good as Barkley and is making the Heisman race a little closer than people may think. Love is also putting up crazy numbers and making defenses look silly. I can see him making a team’s running game a whole lot better with his running style and versatility.

The Pick:

Ideally we grab Barkley. Just thinking about the on-paper offense I detailed at the bottom of the quarterback section gives me chills. Maybe it’s a pipe dream, but Giants fans need something to hope for after such a poop-fire season.

Concluding Thoughts:

The Giants also need help at linebacker, as their crew has been mediocre at best. B.J. Goodson has been trying to become the leader, but it just hasn’t really been working out. Can LT still play? Probably better than these guys. Overall they just need help everywhere. But, for the high draft that they will get this offseason, they might want to look at those three main positions that I mentioned above. If they’re feeling extra adventurous, they can even explore one Giants trade crazy enough to work.

What do you guys think and or want to see in a Giants uniform come next season?

Check out more Bobby Lite and New York Giants trade ideas on New York Sports Chatter!

Leave a Reply