Breaking news from Snoozetown this morning, as the Cleveland Browns have shockingly decided to keep training camp in Berea, Ohio and not move it to Columbus in the immediate future. Does anybody really care where Cleveland training camp is? No, probably not. Do they care who starts at quarterback next season for the currently 1-14 Browns? Eh, still unlikely. Are they losing their desire to watch their beloved Dawg Pound at all – let alone Week 13’s Browns-Bills catastrophe – and their ability to even turn on the water faucet because their team is just so bad?
Enter new-age writer Tim Graham.
The Sabres’ beat reporter for seven years and a two-term president of the Boxing Writers Association of America per his Buffalo News author page, Graham has gifted us with an honest piece of literature that truly refreshes the mind and makes it so that a Buffalo Bills’ 33-13 victory over the then-winless Browns still produced a solid, keyword-conscious recap..
The aimless Buffalo Bills beat the winless Cleveland Browns, 33-13.
The game was hollow, and nobody will ever Google to find this quick recap. Bills fans might glance at this on Sunday. Then my typing will be forgotten forever.
So to give a poor article life beyond Sunday, I am going to overload it with search terms that will cause people to click on it.
Let’s mention Patrick Kane and Lou Gramm right at the top. Good times.
Did O.J. Simpson do it? Keep reading for conclusive evidence — if you dare.
This probably is the first time Doug Marrone, “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” and Chance the Rapper have appeared in the same sentence.
Imma toss in some references to Negan, deadly clown sightings, Slender Man, “Making a Murderer” and Shawn Mendes.
Let’s acknowledge the new law firm of Bieber, Cena, Sia and Vader while we’re at it. And then there is Van Halen’s reunion with David Lee Roth and Khloe Kardashian’s engagement to Roblox.
Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt.
LeBron James traded to the Golden State Warriors? Not if that Samsung Galaxy phone explodes first!
So many deaths in 2016: Prince, Muhammad Ali, Alan Thicke, Fidel Castro, Abe Vigoda, Glen Frey, Florence Henderson, Arnold Palmer, Gene Wilder, John Glenn, David Bowie …
I’m going to make sure Russia sees this post by mentioning Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin together. Hillary Clinton needs an appearance along with, oh, Pokemon Go.
Let’s translate that journalistic gold into one video..
Slam dunk is right, Larry Nance Jr.
Bravo, Tim Graham – I can assure you we’ll be reading more of your work.